The Two Soldiers 

Copyright © 2008 by Tiki Kritzer Seger.  All rights reserved.


At 28 years old, I was once again single, slim (I was back down to about 63 kilos) and sexy.  Since my daughter, Nikki, was able to sleep over at her Grandmother’s house whenever we wanted her too, I had a lot of freedom; I took advantage of this by going dancing at every possible opportunity – especially on the weekends.   This phase didn’t last long, but while it did, I had a lot of fun and some really amusing things happened.

I didn’t have a German driver’s license, and my American license wasn’t valid in Germany, so I wasn’t able to drive anywhere and I had to resort to creative methods to get to and from work, and of course, the clubs, etc. where I went on weekend evenings.  During the day, there were a few buses available and otherwise I would either walk or hitchhike.  At night it was another story: There were no buses, and I considered it too dangerous for me to hitch rides after dark.  I had to rely on friends to drive me; if there was no one available, I would walk – sometimes for hours.


One Friday night I was in Troedler (a bar that was dead during the week, but came to life on the weekends when there was a live DJ) in Weingarten, Germany, when a group of American soldiers walked in.  As usual, I was pretty much the center of attention on the dance floor and they immediately noticed me.  I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world, but I seem to have a certain, special something that draws men to me – also, I’m not at all shy and I’m a really good dancer (at least when I’m alone – I don’t know how to do any partner dances).  The soldiers got their drinks and then joined us in kicking up our heels to English and German 70’s music and in generally having a great time.


In between songs, I chatted with two of the soldiers and we hit it off with each other so well that at the end of the night, they offered to drive me home.  Since it was four in the morning and I was 22 kilometers from where I lived, I gratefully accepted.  One of the soldiers was pretty drunk, but the other had only had a couple of beers and he was fit to drive.  We had a pleasant journey with lots of kidding around and laughing and when we got to my apartment, I asked them if they wanted to come in for a cup of coffee before they drove back to their barracks; they agreed and we entered my tiny, two room abode. 


The apartment was one large room with a separate entrance hall, kitchen and bathroom.  I had divided the living room into two parts with bookshelves: The back part was Nikki’s room and the front doubled as a living room and my bedroom; my bed was two mattresses piled on top of each other that I made up to look like a couch during the day.  As the soldiers walked into the living room, the drunker one said “That looks just beautiful!” and he walked over to my bed and, without even taking off his boots, lay down, rolled himself up in my blanket and fell asleep.  The other soldier and I looked at each other and started laughing.


I took the sleeping man’s boots off and wrapped his feet up in a blanket, then I made coffee.  The other soldier and I talked until 5 AM; then we tried to wake the guy who was sleeping, but it was impossible to budge him.  Since we were both really tired, I told the the man who was still awake that he could sleep in Nikki’s bunk bed and I (in all of my clothes, including thick, wool socks because my feet were cold) lay down next to the guy who was asleep in my bed.  I turned myself so that his feet were at the back of my head and snuggled my feet up against his left ear; then I promptly dropped off.


A couple of hours later there was a yell; the guy I was sleeping with had woken up with my socks in his face and he didn’t have any idea where he was.  After I stopped laughing, I explained to him what had happened and we woke his friend.  We all ate breakfast together and then the soldiers thanked me for my hospitality and left.


Later that day, my ex-Sister-in-Law dropped by to confront me; she was practically in hysterics because she had seen not one, but two strange men coming out of my apartment that morning and they had obliviously spent the night there.  She told me that she felt responsible for me and for my good reputation and that she couldn’t condone such behavior.  I wasted no time in telling her that it was none of her business if I wanted to have ten men over every night; in fact, I told her that if she stuck her nose in where it wasn’t wanted again, I would do it just to spite her.

Tiki Kritzer Seger 0